- The House Republicans released a ultimatum of all the things they'd need before even thinking about raising the debt-ceiling. It was a beautiful exercise in wishful thinking.
- As Jonathan Chait notes, "It is, uh, rather extensive, and really needs to be read in full to appreciate its megalomaniacal ambition," but the Cliff Notes version: delay Obamacare implementation for a year, approve Keystone XL, obliterate Dodd-Frank, cut spending here and there and everywhere, etc. Please.
- The White House's response was basically, "LOL."
- And this was the list of demands they painstakingly whittled down to the essential and acheivable! We can only imagine what the first draft of their wish list demanded...
- Like, more history on the History Channel, perhaps.
- Replace the House Budget Committee office with a P90X workout room.
- Update Earth Day to include celebratory "environmental acupuncture" events.
- Give Thomas Friedman's seat at The New York Times opinion section roundtable to Chuck Norris.
- Make Jenny McCarthy Surgeon General.
- Give the New York Post permanent White House pool duty.
- Put what remains of the National Institute of Health's funding into time travel and space research.Bring Ronald Reagan to the future, and elect him moon president.
- Issue executive order to change expression "as American as apple pie" to "as American as Chick-fil-A"
- Make Tim Tebow the new face of Michelle Obama's "Let's Move" campaign.
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