There's little worse than mocking someone else's moronic comment only to find they were right and you, the mocker, just got served a heaping helping of crow. So my heart goes out to Steve Young at the Huffington Post, who caught Jonah Goldberg mentioning that the Pentagon has attack plans for Iran, North Korea, and even Canada, and immediately leapt to his computer, still chuckling at Goldberg's idiocy. I mean -- Canada!? How crazy are these hawks?
Unfortunately, the Pentagon does have plans to attack Canada, the infamous War Plan Red. They've had them since the 1930's. And good thing, too. On the list of threats to the continental US, some bizarre attack or provocation by our immediate neighbors is about as likely and far more dangerous than an attempted invasion from Saddam Hussein's drone planes, or Iran's world renowned navy. Indeed, would that we had sound plans to stop Mexico and Canada in their tracks but fewer exciting documents about launching preemptive invasions half a world away. Because at the end of the day, War Plan Red sits on a shelf somewhere, emerging only for the biannual stories about what a wacky document it is. The plans to attack Iran, however, are tucked beneath the pillows and framed atop the desks of a hundred neocons and a thousand blustering warbloggers, ensuring them sweet dreams of great wars, detailed fantasies of personal heroism, and countless hours of delightful warmongering. In contrast, an invasion of Canada seems downright quaint. And they've been really asking for it on this softwood thing.
