Fafblog! 1/20/05:

Can you doubt the freedom-spreadery of Giblets? Giblets has decreed Iraq to be free and now it is! Oh sure, not in the petty "liberal democracy with equal protection under the law" sense. But in the "infested with terrorists" sense it's as free as they come! Once Iraqis were tortured and killed by an evil dictator. Now they are tortured and killed by freedom! Their genitals are shocked with the electrodes of liberty. They are mowed down by the machine guns of independence!

...

There are good countries and there are bad countries. Good countries are free, like Pakistan and Russia and Afghanistan! Bad countries hate freedom and want to destroy it. Giblets is for turning anti-freedom countries into powerful new Freeocracies bursting with color and vitamins! Stand with Giblets and freedom shall annihilate its enemies!

Fafblog! 1/22/05:

So the other day Giblets said a buncha stuff about "spreading freedom" and "liberty" and "opposing tyranny." Well it looks like some crazy people seem to have completely misinterpreted Giblets to mean he's gonna start spreading freedom and liberty and opposing tyranny. Oh man that is a good one, ha ha hear Giblets laugh! Giblets means he is spreading Freedomâ„¢, a new delicious dessert topping in three tasty flavors (Chocolate, Strawberry, and Democratastic!) Freedomâ„¢ should be shipping to frozen food sections and ice cream stands all over the world in time for summer! Freedom, on the other hand, Giblets promises to no one.

First you laugh, then you cry.

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