Stop Using Moozlem Words!

Yet more evidence of a sinister Muslim Brotherhood conspiracy afoot:

The blinding waves of brown particles, the most recent of which hit Phoenix on Monday, are caused by thunderstorms that emit gusts of wind, roiling the desert landscape. Use of the term “haboob,” which is what such storms have long been called in the Middle East, has rubbed some Arizona residents the wrong way.

“I am insulted that local TV news crews are now calling this kind of storm a haboob,” Don Yonts, a resident of Gilbert, Ariz., wrote to The Arizona Republic after a particularly fierce, mile-high dust storm swept through the state on July 5. “How do they think our soldiers feel coming back to Arizona and hearing some Middle Eastern term?”

Diane Robinson of Wickenburg, Ariz., agreed, saying the state’s dust storms are unique and ought to be labeled as such.

“Excuse me, Mr. Weatherman!” she said in a letter to the editor. “Who gave you the right to use the word ‘haboob’ in describing our recent dust storm? While you may think there are similarities, don’t forget that in these parts our dust is mixed with the whoop of the Indian’s dance, the progression of the cattle herd and warning of the rattlesnake as it lifts its head to strike.”

There are a tremendous number of Arabic loanwords in English. So next time you're sitting on your sofa, sipping on a mint julep, watching Admiral Mike Mullen testify before Congress or possibly flipping through a magazine, just know that when sharia comes to America, it's your fault. And don't go upstairs and weep into your mattress, covering yourself with your cotton blanket because it's no use. For what it's worth, the onset of this Islamist conspiracy to subvert American sovereignty seems to have begun with the Whig Party--I always knew Henry Clay was a secret Muslim. 

Oh and Bill O'Reilly? I've got my eye on you buddy

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