If you had wandered into Sanctuary Theater in Washington, D.C., on Aug. 8, you might have seen a most unusual spin-off of patriotic imagery. As Jimi Hendrix's version of "The Star-Spangled Banner" blared over the sound system, performance artist Bridget Irish and her crew, wearing nothing but George W. Bush masks, covered their bums and crotches with red, white and blue paint. Then they swooped, smeared and daubed themselves on a sheet of paper. After a few minutes of Slip'n'Slide action, and a sprinkle of glitter for the stars, "A Flag for Bush" was done.

If movies came with stage directions for how audiences might react -- "audience cheers," "audience screams" -- there would be one scene in Who Is Cletis Tout? that'd be marked "audience leaves." Not with the huffy fanfare -- popcorn boxes rattling, purses gathered up with vehemence -- that a really bad movie inspires. No, Cletis isn't memorably vile enough to merit that hot and self-righteous exeunt stage left. Rather, audiences should depart with the calm feeling of taking their lives back, the empowering thought that perhaps there is something better to do than be held hostage by a winkingly self-referential bore of a movie.