Tom Lowenstein

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The Craven


Tuesday, as their party sold its constituents down the river on the John Ashcroft nomination, Democratic Senators Chuck Schumer and Hillary Clinton publicly recited the Edgar Allen Poe poem "The Raven" to their counterparts from Maryland. The New York senators had lost a bet over the Superbowl -- in which the New York Giants lost to the Baltimore Ravens. At least the Baltimore Ravens know what good defense is. In the spirit of bipartisanship, we at The Electronic Policy Network offer our version:


The Craven

by Edgar Allen Woe

The Big Fold:


Yesterday, the Judiciary Committee voted 10 to eight to send John Ashcroft's nomination for attorney general to the Senate floor. The "aye" votes included every Republican on the committee and Democratic Senator Russell Feingold. Feingold told the committee that he voted for Ashcroft because it is customary to give the president his cabinet. As he righteously explained, "The Senate has nearly uniformly sought to avoid disapproving nominations because of their philosophy alone, and I believe that we should not begin to do so now."


Get Over It!

Very early morning, November 8, 2000. I'm at home, in bed, my eyes propped open with toothpicks. Last night -- as the networks called Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Florida for Al Gore -- I revived the moonwalk in my glee. Now the networks have called the election for George W. Bush, and I'm thinking the moon wouldn't be such a bad place to be right now, with or without oxygen.


The Bush supporters in Austin, with all the class of an obnoxious football crowd, are doing the "Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye!" chant. I doze off. When I wake up, my nightmare has begun. The Bushies have already started in on their "Sore Loserman" campaign to stop vote counting.


Student Teachers:

After four months of post-election purgatory -- more than 100 days in which liberals have watched Democratic leaders weakly grumble as President Bush has handed the government over to corporations and sought to pay off their C.E.O.s with giant tax cuts -- real leadership has finally emerged on the left.


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