Tony Hendra

Tony Hendra is an author, actor and author of Father Joe: The Man Who Saved My Soul.

Recent Articles

The Cheney Files

THE PROTOCOLS OF THE ELDERS OF HOUSTON

Thanks to an unidentified source in the office of Justice Scalia, Tony Hendra has acquired a copy of the confidential 2001 energy report which Vice President Dick Cheney was at such pains to conceal and the Court so obligingly let him continue to conceal. Some highlights:

FINAL REPORT OF THE CHENEY ENERGY TASK-FORCE

          May 2001

      NATIONAL ENERGY GOALS 2001-2020

SUPER TOP SECRET! WHITE HOUSE EYES ONLY!

The Monica Pages

Bill Clinton's $10 million autobiography, My Life, comes out this month. While the book will cover the accomplishments of the best president we've had since the last Bush disaster dragged us into recession and war, 99 percent of its readers will buy it for the three pages devoted to Monica Lewinsky. To save you plowing through acres of nostalgic wonkery (and $21), here they are:

"Come in Ms Lewinsky," I said. It was a bright morning in the fall of 1995. I had no idea that this would be a moment that would change my life, my presidency, my whole way of thinking about women and what they can contribute to public life.

Kerry Konfusion

A couple of weeks back, I got this e-mail from John Kerry:

“Dear Tony,

Last night on 60 Minutes, Bob Woodward said Saudi Arabian Prince Bandar [bin Sultan] pledged to … lower gas prices before the 2004 election. This pledge has cost U.S. consumers literally billions of dollars in higher gas prices.”

-- John Kerry

Huh? Higher? Lower? Now? Later? This is how JFK II communicates? I think I know what he means, but is this any way to save the republic from the Republicans?

Then, a few days ago, another e-mail introduced me to Kerry's younger brother, Cameron, except he was identified as “Cam.” Now Cam is not a great keyword on the Web -- when I Googled it, the helpful suggestion for further info was “thousands of live adult webcams.”

'Bell Curve' -- Levant Version

Satire by Tony Hendra.

From an unexpected quarter comes some rare good news for embattled U.S. military commanders trying to contain the widening prison-abuse scandals in Iraq. The conservative San Diego-based scientific review No Junk Science published an article today by a team of researchers from the Adolf Coors Center for Studying Arabs at Pepperdine and the Charles Murray Institute of Eugenics at West Texas Christian University. The study presents "overwhelming evidence" that Arabs are not, by any prevailing scientific standard, human.

The Last Word

Hollywood's latest counterpunch to the impact of Mel Gibson's sects-and-violence blockbuster, The Passion of the Christ, is the re-release of Monty Python's masterpiece, The Life of Brian. Henry Jaglom, who is handling Brian's Second Coming, says, "For [those] who are ... repelled by Gibson's violent, bigoted polemic, we offer a much needed dose of humor as an antidote ... ."

Well, OK. Except that The Life of Brian is more than a lighthearted time-out from the volcanic emotions stirred up by The Passion. It satirizes the dark and dangerous reasons why works like The Passion get made.

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