THE FIRST FEMINISTS. You think modern feminists have to put up with the “hairy-legged man-hater” stereotype too often? Just imagine what it must have been like for these ladies. New research says neanderthals died out because their womenfolk didn’t want to stay home and take care of the babies — they wanted to join in the hunt.

That’s right. Their quest for equality is being blamed for the downfall of the entire species. In other words, the neanderfeminists are STILL facing the backlash, a hundred thousand years later. Doesn’t bode well for the rest of us, does it?

–Ann Friedman

Ann Friedman is a columnist for New York magazine’s website and for the Columbia Journalism Review. She also makes pie charts for The Hairpin and Los Angeles magazine. Her work has appeared in ELLE, Esquire, Newsweek, The Observer, the Washington Post, the Los Angeles Times, and many other outlets. She lives in Los Angeles, but travels so often the best place to find her is online at annfriedman.com. Follow @annfriedman