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View image | gettyimages.com What’s that you say? There’s a biology teacher at your local high school trying to indoctrinate students into believing that the earth is 4.5 billion years old? Not to worry-AmericaMan is on his way! Good thing I wore the Sweatband of Liberty today!

View image | gettyimages.com On the day I was born The nurses all gathered ’round And they gazed in wide wonder At the joy they had found The head nurse spoke up Said “leave this one alone” She could tell right away That I would change Senate rules to allow certain executive branch nominations to […]

View image | gettyimages.com This is the scene in Jerusalem today, with the Dome of the Rock half-covered by a fluffy white blanket of hope and understanding.

View image | gettyimages.com Marine One takes President Obama from the White House. And can I just say, winter isn’t a competition, people. It’s not about who got more snow, or who’s being too whiny by complaining about the cold. It’s cold out there. If you want to complain, go ahead and complain. Complaining about […]

View image | gettyimages.com The British government announced today that it will be allowing driverless vehicles in some limited pedestrian areas. The cute little number above is the Lutz, which will take British pensioners on a wondrous journey to the Soylent Green factory for their final processing.

View image | gettyimages.com A woman digs out her car in Cambridge, MA. It should be obvious by now that Höðr, the Norse god of winter, is angry with the Northeast and will not release its puny denizens from his grip until they give unto him a glorious offering, preferably some kind of companion hewn […]

View image | gettyimages.com TATSUNO, JAPAN – FEBRUARY 06: Japanese somen maker, Yoshinobu Izuhara, uses chopsticks to stretch drying Ibonoito somen noodles on February 6, 2015, in Tatsuno, Japan. Somen is a type of Japanse wheat noodle, served either cold with dipping sauce or hot in broth. Noodle production in Tatsuno city dates back approximately […]

View image | gettyimages.com The photo of this guy swimming with a Dalek on his head was apparently taken at some sort of whimsical British swimming competition, but the context is really irrelevant. The point is, this is a guy swimming with a Dalek on his head. Godspeed to you, good sir.