In order to mess with Gov. Gavin Newsom and citizens of Los Angeles, the Trump administration came up with the lunatic idea of having units of Marines fire live artillery rounds over a stretch of I-5, one of the busiest freeways in Southern California. The administration insisted that this was perfectly safe, and disingenuously claimed that it was just part of patriotic celebrations of the Marines’ 250th anniversary.
Vice President JD Vance was there for the occasion. It’s not clear whether the scheme originated with Vance, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, or the White House.
Of course, as any professional soldier with battlefield experience knows, artillery misfires all the time. Gov. Newsom protested the plan for the freeway firings, to no avail, and then prudently ordered the section of I-5 closed to motorists for several hours.
Sure enough, during the Saturday exercise, one of the howitzer shells fell short, scattering shrapnel on the freeway. One chunk of metal, about 2 by 2 inches, slammed into a Highway Patrol vehicle that was part of Vance’s entourage. Pebble-sized bits of shrapnel sprayed a police motorcycle. No one was injured. The Marines immediately halted the exercise before all of the planned 60 howitzer rounds were fired.
In there a better metaphor for the Trump administration? Trump, as the expression goes, was hoist by his own petard. (“Petard” is the French word for explosion. It is also French slang for fart.)
Trump’s childish efforts to punish his opposition are policy-farts, and he is being hoist on them. His closure of the government is backfiring on congressional Republicans and raising health care costs. His gratuitous tariff wars are raising prices to consumers, hurting Republican farmers, and undermining domestic industries dependent on global supply chains. His support for Argentine President Javier Milei with tens of billions in Treasury purchases of pesos will result in U.S. taxpayer losses but not save Milei’s political fortunes. And so much more.
Playing toy soldier, with real weapons, is perfectly in character. And there are far more dangerous gambits than the L.A. debacle.
And as a presidential response to No Kings Day, Trump posted an AI-generated video of himself as a king, flying a royal jet that dumps poop on protesters, thus nicely proving the point of the protest.
I am reminded of a joke left over from World War II that I first heard in grade school. A Japanese admiral is giving an inspirational talk to kamikaze pilots arrayed on the deck of an aircraft carrier as they are about to take off for their last mission, patriotically diving their suicide planes onto American battleships.
“Are there any questions,” the admiral asks, looking out over the giant carrier.
From the last row, one bold pilot raises his hand.
“Are you out of your f*cking mind?”
At his next White House press conference, some bold reporter should ask that of Trump.