Hey, it's Friday. Chris Orr writes:
The obvious question such examples raise is, don't these people have friends of average or above-average social intelligence to help them with such elementary lessons? In some cases, perhaps not. But for most of the people in the article I suspect a different dynamic is at work, specifically they're not hiring these dating coaches despite their exorbitant fees but rather because of them.
When the co-worker you hang out with tells you you're shy, it's easy to ignore or downplay the advice. But when the "expert" you've just paid $5,000 tells you the same thing, you're going to treat it like the shrewdest insight you've ever heard because, hey, it cost $5,000 dollars.
Right: There's certainly a hefty amount of signaling going on. If someone says their opinion is worth $5,000, and other people have heard their pitch and agreed, that opinion seems worth much more than your friend's musings. And because you've invested so much in it, you're more likely to follow the advice.
So far as having friends do the job goes, these individuals seeking dating advice may well have buddies who, in theory, could help. But a friend may not be willing to honestly lay out the situation. They're more likely to comfort, to dwell on what's unfair, rather than to harshly critique mutable behaviors. Conversely, a professional, who's being hired to tell you what's going wrong, will have no such compunctions, and you're less likely feel less defensive accepting the advice from an expert rather than from a peer.
