Tony Hendra

So finally they are gone from our exquisite and majestic rus in urbe — the collective obscenities of the collective ego of Mr. and Ms. Christo. What were they supposed to symbolize, these thousands of dishrags hanging from their thousands of kitchen rails? The rigid banality of the urban fabric, gridding and right-angling the rich […]

So finally they are gone from our exquisite and majestic rus in urbe — the collective obscenities of the collective ego of Mr. and Ms. Christo. What were they supposed to symbolize, these thousands of dishrags hanging from their thousands of kitchen rails? The rigid banality of the urban fabric, gridding and right-angling the rich […]

Pope John Paul II’s brief illness this week brought into the open a debate that has been raging for years in the sanctified corridors of the Vatican: Who will be the next pope? Rome’s College of Cardinals has been burning up the DSLs (Divine Subscriber Lines), and cardinals across the world say lobbying and intriguing […]

My Fellow Democrats, The tears have dried, the postmortems have been laid to rest, the Zoloft prescriptions have been refilled, the property listings in Canada/Ireland/Costa Rica/Paris/ Prague/Auckland are in the wastebasket. Now that everyone’s come back to earth, let me say this: For the third time in four years, the party I am honored to […]

Sunday, Zero-Minus-10 Dubya, I have a dream. A recurrent dream. No, a nightmare. You and me are standing on the White House roof — it’s like it’s got a widow’s walk or something. We can see for miles. There’s gazillions of security moms in rank upon rank all the way to the horizon, screaming like […]

THE PROTOCOLS OF THE ELDERS OF HOUSTON Thanks to an unidentified source in the office of Justice Scalia, Tony Hendra has acquired a copy of the confidential 2001 energy report which Vice President Dick Cheney was at such pains to conceal and the Court so obligingly let him continue to conceal. Some highlights: […]

Bill Clinton’s $10 million autobiography, My Life, comes out this month. While the book will cover the accomplishments of the best president we’ve had since the last Bush disaster dragged us into recession and war, 99 percent of its readers will buy it for the three pages devoted to Monica Lewinsky. To save you plowing […]

A couple of weeks back, I got this e-mail from John Kerry: “Dear Tony, Last night on 60 Minutes, Bob Woodward said Saudi Arabian Prince Bandar [bin Sultan] pledged to … lower gas prices before the 2004 election. This pledge has cost U.S. consumers literally billions of dollars in higher gas prices.” — John Kerry […]

Satire by Tony Hendra. From an unexpected quarter comes some rare good news for embattled U.S. military commanders trying to contain the widening prison-abuse scandals in Iraq. The conservative San Diego-based scientific review No Junk Science published an article today by a team of researchers from the Adolf Coors Center for Studying Arabs at Pepperdine […]

TO: The Database FROM: The Hard Drive of Allah RE: Four more years! Greetings, o multifarious martyrs to be! Good morning, Afghanistan! Good morning, Iraq! Today the Hard Drive has a surprise for its faithful Database. Let us praise Allah a thousand, thousand times for sending us George W. Bush! After his three and half […]