Adam Nagourney is the latest reporter to out himself as a super-powered mutant, joining a long line of powerful telepaths like Professor Charles Xavier and Jean Grey.
“John McCain says he's about change, too – except for economic policy, health care policy, tax policy, education policy, foreign policy and Karl Rove-style politics,” Mr. Obama said. “That's not change. That's just calling the same thing something different. You can put lipstick on a pig – it's still a pig.”
At that point, Mr. Obama paused for just a moment, no doubt imagining the whoops that were going up at the McCain headquarters where they were no doubt monitoring the speech, and aware of the extent to which both campaigns are seeking to seize on anything even approaching a slip of the tongue.
In related news, the publishers of The New York Times revealed today that they have installed a Cerebro in the basement of the Times building. The machine amplifies Nagourney's telepathic powers to an exponential degree so that he need not even be in proximity to the presidential candidates in order to know what they're thinking. Professor Xavier is reportedly suing the Times for copyright infringement.
--A. Serwer
