BLONDECTOMY. Mayor Gavin Newsom checked into a San Francisco hospital last night for an emergency blondectomy. Just kidding. But Newsom has stated that he is going to enter rehabilitation for alcoholism. In that he follows in the large footsteps of many other politicians who have been caught (for the lack of a better term) red-handed, doing something they shouldn't have done. Whether alcohol use played a role in these political scandals might not even matter that much. Alcoholism rehab is a nice way of getting a rest from the media and also the Proper Thing To Do in a society where the religious people demand repentance and most everybody values medicine. A few months of earnest self-examination at a retreat and, presto!, the politician can emerge all born-again. But we really need to invent a new name for rehabilitating politicians who get caught for something and yet don't drink enough to qualify for this traditional remedy.
--J. Goodrich