Paris Hilton has been released from prison after five days because she was "at risk" for a nervous breakdown. Commentary outsourced to the Superficial:
So the big medical reason that got Paris Hilton released was that she wasn't happy in prison. Which, I always thought, was sort of the whole point. Was she expecting to ride on unicorns and dance under waterfalls? It's fucking prison. I'm pretty sure the inmates who get daily anal rapings are pretty upset too, but nobody's letting them go home. The moral of the story is: if you're ever put in prison just put on a frowny face and they'll let you go. Oh, and make sure you're Paris Hilton. That last part's pretty important.
It's hard to believe in American equality when the rich are released because prison makes them pouty.
