(Being An Official Transcript Of NBC's Meet The Press, May 2004)
Mr. Russert: Welcome back to Meet The Press. Our guest is Jesus, often called The Christ, called by some the Messiah, the Redeemer, the Way, The Truth, and The Light. Mr. Christ, it's good to have you here.
Mr. Christ: It's good to see you again, Tim.
Mr. Russert: Again?
Mr. Christ: Remember that afternoon in Buffalo? The raincoat? I Am Curious (Yellow)?
(Laughter)
Mr. Russert: Seriously, sir. You are the subject of a hit Hollywood movie and you're at least an important minor character in the best-selling novel The Da Vinci Code. And, in the immensely popular Left Behind series, you now have a new career as an action hero.
Mr. Christ: Well, I have been working out. I thought it was time to stretch a little bit, messiah-wise.
Mr. Russert: In addition, the president of the United States consults you regularly on matters of national policy. And he once called you his favorite political philosopher.
Mr. Christ: Well, I've been called worse. (Laughter)
Mr. Christ: But not by anyone who wasn't a Pharisee. (Laughter)
Mr. Russert: But it's hard not to notice how hot you are right now, sir.
Mr. Christ: Thank you, Tim. It isn't Caesarea in the old days, but I'll take it.
Mr. Russert: As you know, sir, there is a certain controversy about your birth. Let me put up a quote here: “Now in this same district there were shepherds out in the fields, keeping watch through the night over their flocks, when suddenly there stood before them an angel of the Lord.” That is from the gospel of Luke. But, as you know, some have pointed out that these shepherds don't appear in any of the other three accounts of your supposed birth. Not only that, but in at least two of the other accounts, you appear fully grown at the River Jordan, preparing to be baptized by this John the Baptist fellow. In other words, in half of the accounts of your life, these shepherds and this angel fellow don't even appear. Do you have any comment on what some people would call a contradiction?
Mr. Christ: First of all, Tim, let me say that I have the utmost respect for Luke as a reporter, as I do the other three evangelists.
Mr. Russert: Let me stop you there. Are you now disassociating yourself from the accounts of your birth, or from the accounts in which you apparently are not born?
Mr. Christ: Tim, wait a moment. I'm sure you can understand that it would be inconvenient for me to disassociate myself from the Gospels.
Mr. Russert: I can appreciate that, but I have to ask you: You were born, weren't you?
Mr. Christ: I believe so. My parents always told me that I was.
Mr. Russert: So can you identify anyone who can corroborate the story about the shepherds and the angels?
Mr. Christ: Well, Tim, as you know, most of my contemporaries are dead, and so are most of my parents' friends. I, of course, was very young when I was born. However, I am allergic to wool. Perhaps that has something to do with it.
Mr. Russert: You can understand, can't you, that some people may look at this apparent inconsistency in your biography and wonder, ‘If we can't trust him to give a straight story about his own life, how can we trust him with our eternal salvation?'
Mr. Christ: Well, I have to stand on my record on that one, Tim.
Mr. Russert: Let's move on to another issue.
Mr. Christ: OK.
Mr. Russert: It was reported that you once told quite a large crowd the following: “Do not set yourself against the man who wrongs you. If someone slaps you on the right cheek, turn and offer you his left.” Yet, later, in the same very same report, only 13 chapters later, we have you turning over tables, freeing other people's pigeons, and scattering money all over the temple grounds. How would you answer people who see a disconnect there between what you said and what you did?
Mr. Christ: Well, it was hot and, you remember, Tim, I said at the time that my father's house was a house of prayer, and they had made of it a den of thieves.
Mr. Russert: And you stand by that statement?
Mr. Christ: Of course I do. I meant every word of it.
Mr. Russert: But did you mean it when you said all that about turning the other cheek and loving your enemies?
Mr. Christ: I stand by that, too.
Mr. Russert: Even though they seem to contradict each other?
Mr. Christ: I do.
Mr. Russert: And you stand by what you did in the temple, all the money-scattering and pigeon-freeing, even though there's only one report out of the four accounts of your life that even describes you doing it?
Mr. Christ: Again, Tim, I'm not going to get into a He-said, He-said thing about this stuff. It's counterproductive, and people are just going to have to judge for themselves.
Mr. Russert: But this did happen?
Mr. Christ: It did.
Mr. Russert: But can you see -- can't you understand -- why some critics look at these discrepancies in your official biographies and they see you make no apparent attempt to reconcile these accounts, and they see it as, well, as a question of character, sir?
Mr. Christ: Excuse me?
Mr. Russert: A question of character, sir. Can you square these accounts with the facts and resurrect your character?
Mr. Christ: Tim, I guess I'm just going to have to stand on my record as redeemer over these past, what is it, 2003-odd years. What else can I do? I think I've done a good job. It's why so many people have endorsed me: Peter, Paul, Augustine, 23 Johns, a couple of Gelasiuses, Francis of Assisi, Martin de Porres, Luther, Calvin … .
Mr. Russert: Yes, sir.
Mr. Christ: C.S. Lewis, G. K. Chesterton, Dorothy Day, Bill Buckley … .
Mr. Russert: Sir, we're about out of time for today.
Mr. Christ: Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber.
Mr. Russert: Thank you, Mr. Christ. It's great to see you again. The movie is The Passion of The Christ. The books are The Da Vinci Code and Left Behind. Come back and see us again soon.
Mr. Christ: Oh, I think you can count on that.
Mr. Russert: Next up, our political roundtable. David Broder of The Washington Post, Bill Safire of The New York Times, and Origen of Alexandria discuss cutting faith-based initiatives. Remember, if it's Sunday, it's Meet The Press.
Mr. Christ: To you, maybe.
Charles P. Pierce is a staff writer for The Boston Globe Magazine and a contributing writer for Esquire. He also appears regularly on National Public Radio.
