It's worth saying that in Garance's otherwise excellent riff on my post observing that intelligence and ambition have become prized dating characteristics, "intellectual arm candy" really isn't the right term. Arm candy denotes a sweet chosen solely because she makes you look good through a quality (attractiveness) with little-to-no intrinsic worth. I'm not sure I totally agree with that devaluation of beauty (which is desired even by those who deride it), but nevertheless. The intellectual stuff, however, isn't so much about heuristics. Interesting lives make for interesting folks.
In my example, someone uninterested in politics wouldn't much enjoy either my obsession or my group of friends. And I'd be similarly nonplussed spending massive quantities of time with someone who couldn't relate to my primary passion -- I'm just not good enough at sectioning off my life. While I've no doubt there's an element of pride in dating girls who do great things (and I know the reverse to be true), there's a larger degree of necessity.
This is conjectural, but my read is that a couple generations back, folks didn't necessarily expect intellectual stimulation and conversation in their mate. Other characteristics were deemed more important, and mental fulfillment came from work and/or buddies and/or friends and/or book clubs. That doesn't hold true across the board, but it was a more prevalent approach than it is now. But as marriage transitioned from a system of cooperative ties to a division to labor to the current "soulmate" model, the expectations for what a partner provides were magnified, and now mental stimulation, if you're into that, is high atop the list. Which means it's not really about arm candy but expectations. As for its public components, it used to be that a hot/rich mate signified success given the criteria of the time. Presently, at least in some circles, a relationship that lacks intellectual equality and spark is obviously not the sort of bond you'd want. It's a whole different metric, and one that's more substantive and transferrable to the private incarnation than its predecessor.
