I don't know why i feel like it's a Friday, but here's Blade brought up on tax charges:
DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Mr. Blade, you told the grand jury that you could not mail your tax return because the post office is only open during daylight hours, and since you are a vampire, you would burst into flames. SNIPES/BLADE: Yes your honor. PROSECUTOR: Objection. Let the record show that Mr. Blade is a "Daywalker." Mr. Blade's pregnant mother was infected with the vampire virus as she gave birth to him, resulting in a child who was a "Dhampir" or "Daywalker" -- a being with vampire powers but none of the weaknesses. JUDGE: Is this true? Are you a Daywalker? SNIPES/BLADE: Yes your honor. DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Your honor, we would like to establish that as a Daywalker, Mr. Blade's eyes were extremely sensitive to sunlight. JUDGE: Where are you going with this? DEFENSE ATTORNEY: On April fifteenth of 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006 and 2007, which were all very sunny days, Mr. Blade had lost his sunglasses. PROSECUTOR: Objection. Do you really expect the court to believe that Blade only owns one pair of sunglasses? COURTROOM: (LAUGHTER OF DISBELIEF)
