Sex and the City began as one of the few shows on television that showcased female friendships both in the ways they really are and in the ways we want them to be, and ended as a retro, ultimately conservative show about how all women really want is a man. (Case in point: Samantha's sexed-up liberation was really all about her inability to get emotionally close to a man lest she get hurt, but Smith helped her work through that when he stood by her through her illness. Barf.)
This weekend the second movie of the franchise is out. While I rolled my eyes at the prospect and the premise of the second, I was secretly looking forward to it. That changed when it was unanimously trounced by critics. Below, a roundup of the funniest lines from all the reviews, with some aid from the roundup at MovieLine.
- "SATC2 takes everything that I hold dear as a woman and as a human — working hard, contributing to society, not being an entitled [expletive] like it’s my job — and rapes it to death with a stiletto that costs more than my car."-- Lindy West, The Stranger
- "The wedding, the characters frequently remark, with the mixture of insouciant mockery and cosmopolitan self-congratulation that seems to have become the hallmark of this weary franchise, is a gay one ... giving the four main female characters, their male companions and the director, Michael Patrick King, a chance to wink, nod and drag out Liza Minnelli to perform 'All the Single Ladies.' Her version is in no way superior to the one in 'Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel,' and it is somehow both the high point of 'Sex and the City 2' and a grim harbinger of what is to come. The number starts out campy, affectionate and self-aware, but at some point turns desperate, grating and a little sad." -- A.O. Scott, NYT
- "But Sex and the City 2 -- perhaps even more so than its 2008 movie predecessor -- is a sad and ugly example of how terrific television can mutate into something that feels a lot like torture porn. No, scratch that -- torture porn may be unpleasant to watch, but at least it’s honest about its motives. And the clothes are less of a horror show." -- Stephanie Zacharek, MovieLine
- "For all the sniggery double entendres, virtually all of Sex and the City 2 is a pale shade of vanilla. But there is this one moment … [Kim] Cattrall, in short shorts in the Arab marketplace, has a flurry of hot flashes, drops to the ground, and writhes around screaming, “I have sex, yes! I quite enjoy it!” People coming out of surgery with bad reactions to the anesthesia have been known to behave like that, which gives it some fleeting connection to real life." -- David Edelstein, New York Magazine
- "The characters’ engagement with Muslim culture is lazily conceived and often painful to watch, as when Parker gawps at a woman eating french fries under her veil, or Cattrall fellates a hookah pipe. The movie justifies these moments with a pro-female message that goes no further than acknowledging that all women, regardless of culture, love fashion and enjoy karaoke sing-alongs of 'I Am Woman.'" -- Genevieve Koski, Onion's AVClub
- "The movie's visual style is arthritic. Director Michael Patrick King covers the sitcom dialogue by dutifully cutting back and forth to whoever is speaking. A sample of Carrie's realistic dialogue in a marital argument: 'You knew when I married you I was more Coco Chanel than coq au vin.' Carrie also narrates the film, providing useful guidelines for those challenged by its intricacies. Sample: 'Later that day, Big and I arrived home.'" -- Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times
-- Monica Potts
