The Parody, from our November issue:
"Every level ofgovernment should statutorily and procedurally prefer married couplesover cohabitators, homosexuals, or fornicators." -- A highlight from the 1989 graduate thesis of Virginia gubernatorial candidate Robert F. McDonnell
Other highlights the Prospect has uncovered from the college papers of prominent political leaders:
"Oftenunfairly depicted, Moriarty is primarily motivated by self-defense,which forces him to work the dark side, if you will." -- Dick Cheney Casper College
"WhenBartleby says, 'I would prefer not to' to every request made of him inthe workplace, it may seem as if he is simply offering refusal andobstruction. That is entirely unfair to Bartleby. What Bartleby isreally saying is, 'What we all need to do is to slow down, stop thiscurrent process, start over, and get it right.'" -- Mitch McConnell, University of Louisville
"A notably unfair negative portrayal is Shakespeare's Richard III, as this ignores the security threats Richard faced during the War of the Roses. He had no choice but to work the dark side, if you will." -- Richard Cheney, Casper College
"Konrad Adenauer has preserved the essential ambivalence about West German identity that ...
wait, are you sleeping?" -- John Kerry, Yale
"Atticus Finch is an admirable character in To Kill a Mockingbird, but that does not mean he has the right to question the due process against his client. I have not seen anything in the case of Tom Robinson that would cause me to think that the decision that was made by the courts of the state of Alabama was not correct." -- Rick Perry, Texas A&M
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness." -- Joe Biden, University of Delaware
"Hamlet is a famous work by William Shakespeare that, like all of them, any of them, is very great." -- Sarah Palin, Hawaii Pacific University
"Hamlet is a famous work by William Shakespeare that is very great, like any of them, all of them." -- Sarah Palin, North Idaho College
"Hamlet is a famous work, like any of them, all of them, by William Shakespeare that is very great." -- Sarah Palin, University of Idaho
"Like all of them, any of them, Hamlet is a famous work by William Shakespeare that is very great." -- Sarah Palin, Matanuska-Susitna College
"Macbeth is a famous work by William Shakespeare that, like any of them, all of them, is very great." -- Sarah Palin, back at the University of Idaho
--T.A. Frank
