Pablo Martinez Monsivais/AP Photo
The Bidens and the Obamas together at a campaign event, September 7, 2012, in Iowa City, Iowa
Joe Biden: Michelle, I know you’ve said you won’t be my running mate, but your country calls. You are one of the most admired public figures in America. And it’s hard not to notice that you just released a documentary on your life.
Michelle Obama: I’m sorry, Joe, but Barack and I have been over this a hundred times. We had our turn. We are enjoying having our private lives back.
JB: But my team has sent me their recommendations and none of the others quite do it. I need a woman, preferably an African American woman. Kamala Harris fell on her face in the campaign and didn’t even excite black voters. Stacey Abrams is great, but too risky. Elizabeth Warren is amazing, but too independent. Amy Klobuchar is just meh.
MO: Joe, I just can’t do it.
JB: You would galvanize women voters, black voters, and you don’t scare off white voters. You remind people of a time when the country was well governed. You and I work well together, and we’d have Barack to send on special missions like climate change. And then, of course, you’d succeed me as the first woman president.
MO: I’m not sure I’d want to be president. And I don’t want to upstage you.
JB: We’d be partners. The voters would love it. The future of our democracy literally hinges on this, Michelle. I’m not sure I can win with any of the others. Plus, having you on the ticket would finally push Trump over the edge.
MO: Are you sure that’s what you want?
JB: You know, Trump has spent the last three and a half years trying to expunge your husband’s legacy. This could restore it. Think about that.
MO: Joe, just because it’s you, I’ll discuss it with Barack one last time.
Barack Obama: Michelle, we’ve been over this …
MO: I know, but he makes a pretty good case.
BO: But you said you’d never do this, you hate politics.
MO: I do. But I hate the prospect of four more years of Trump even more.
BO: I suppose it could be cool, you as the next president-in-waiting, Joe sending me on special assignments, but not working as hard as I did when I was in charge.
MO: There’s just one thing I feel really bad about.
BO: What’s that?
MO: Bill and Hillary hoped to pull off this act. It’s kind of unfair that we get to.
BO: Who ever said life is fair?
