Here at the Prospect, we had intended to be your No. 1 place for Lincoln Chafee news. You know, Lincoln Chafee, the former Rhode Island governor (and former Republican) who is running for the Democratic presidential nomination?
If we've been neglecting our duties, it's only because, well, it wasn't clear anyone actually wanted to read Lincoln Chafee news. In a 1,001-person poll last month, Chafee received absolutely zero votes, and his perhaps most well-publicized social media incident happened when his wife posted to his campaign's Facebook page, asking if anyone on staff knew the password. He's still polling at 0.0 on Real Clear Politics.
In answer to the glee many are feeling regarding Chafee's long-shot campaign, comedian Conan O'Brien is making it his mission to get Chafee from 0 percent to 1 percent, at least in polling results. "Let's be honest, I'm not trying to get him elected," he said on his late-night show on Wednesday.
O'Brien offered his audience some facts about Chafee, including the candidate's support for affirmative action, same-sex marriage, legalizing marijuana, and adopting the metric system. "So that should easily win over African American lesbian stoners who are also CEOs of companies that manufacture measuring cups," O'Brien joked before noting that Chafee is also a professional ferrier (which is a bit reminiscent of Mitt and Ann Romney's Olympic dressage horse ownership).
The O'Brien effort to get Chafee at least on the board also includes a campaign song, performed by Aimee Mann and Ted Leo to the tune of Fine Young Cannibals' "She Drives Me Crazy." Here's the video of the Chafee-devoted Conan segment, and the lyrics to the song:
Used to be Republican
Switched to Dem in 2010
The pride of Rhode Island
His horse's hooves were stylin'
Wants the metric system for the U.S.
A plan with zero gram's chance of success
He's Lincoln Chafee
For president
You don't have to vote for him
Just get him to 1 percent
He's only got 12 Facebook friends
He looks like Chris Matthews on a juice cleanse
He's Lincoln Chafee
Let's get him 1 percent
He'll never be president
Just get him 1 percent
Chafee showed himself to be a good sport in responding to the segment, thanking O'Brien for the attention, and offering to "come on the show to help his ratings."
I'd say stay tuned for more Lincoln Chafee news, but unless O'Brien's plan is more effective than the "Colbert Bump," it might be a while before we have more to write about.
