- Loser: Republicans
- Winner: Congress
- Loser: Congress
- Winner: Booze
- Loser: D.C. Lottery Winners
- Winner: Invasive bugs
- Loser: Immigration reform
- Winner: Cookie Monster
- Winner: Dollywood
- Winner: Skateboarders
- Winner: Squirrels
- Winner: Foxes
- Winner: Nic Cage
- Winner: No one
Daily Meme: Apparently We've Already Decided on the Shutdown Winners and Losers
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