Bring Me Your Angry, Your Paranoid, Your Masses Huddled In Their Bunkers...

Independence is the new media thing. Andrew Sullivan is doing it. Trey Parker and Matt Stone are doing it. And Glenn Beck, who did it already when he got booted from Fox News and created his own internet TV ... um ... thing in response, is taking it even farther. Inspired by "Galt's Gulch," the place in Atlas Shrugged where the Randian übermenschen retreated, Beck is unveiling plans for an entire city he will build, a city to embody all that is right and good and libertarian about America, a true refuge where those who have proven their mettle by watching hundreds of hours of his programs can come and live just as the Founders intended. It'll be called, naturally, Independence, U.S.A. Behold:

You'll notice how right at the beginning Beck says, "You will have to literally wipe us off the face of the earth and wipe us off the map before you can erase the truth that is America." Presumably in the regular America, the sinister forces can just come for us one by one, and before you know it America is gone, but it'll be a lot harder if the True America is all concentrated in one city. Seems a little backward to me, but OK.

Of course this will never happen, but you can't fault him for a lack of ambition. It isn't enough to pay to be a member of Glenn's web site and listen to his radio show and buy his books. He wants you to come live in a city he designed! And what's the end point of this? Perhaps an "Eternal Glenn" program, where after your loved one dies, you mail to Beck a small vial containing some of old grandad's blood (harvested while he was alive, of course), and in a brief but solemn ceremony, Glenn will join the blood with that of other Beck fans in a beautiful cauldron (mini-replicas available for only $39.95), merging their essences into a powerful liquid spirit, each drop a concentrated reduction of Paranoid Cranky Old White Man, bursting with America-ness and used for anointing in secret ceremonies deep within the underground temple at Independence, U.S.A. Don't be surprised.

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