Honor Lincoln and MLK by Getting Yourself an AR-15

Let's say you're a local Republican party organization in a Democratic state, and you want to think creatively about how to get media attention. You could put up a "Kiss a Capitalist" booth at the county fair, or hire a local graffiti artist to spray-paint portraits of Ronald Reagan on the homes of poor people in order to inspire them to take a firm hold of those bootstraps and pull. Or, in honor of Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King, two liberals who got assassinated with guns, you could raffle off an AR-15. That's what the Multnomah county GOP is doing, and you have to give them credit: people are noticing! Here's part of their press release:

Multnomah County Republicans recognize the incredible time of year we are in. In successive months to start the year, we celebrate the legacy of two great Republicans who demonstrated leadership and courage that all of us still lean on today: Martin Luther King, Jr. and Abraham Lincoln. In celebrating these two men, and the denial of the rights they fought so hard against, the Multnomah County Republican Party announces that we have started our third raffle for an AR-15 rifle (or handgun of the winner’s choice).

For the record, Martin Luther King was not a Republican, and Abraham Lincoln's Republican party was the liberal party of its day; just ask yourself what side the average Tea Party Republican of today would have been on had they been alive in 1864. And let's try to unpack that last sentence: "In celebrating these two men, and the denial of the rights they fought so hard against…" So wait, are you celebrating the denial of rights? And which rights did they fight against? I'm confused.

Grammatical puzzlers aside, this is some high-grade, industrial-strength trolling. For some people, freedom's just another word for … guns. That's really all it's a word for. Freedom is guns, and guns is freedom, and if a historical figure sought to correct injustice, then obviously he would have been opposed to the worst injustice of all, which is when you have three AR-15s and you want to get a fourth one, but you have to get a background check to get it instead of just buying it out of some dude's trunk at three in the morning in the parking lot of the Piggly Wiggly like James Madison intended.

And here's the best part of that article about the raffle: "The winner will be given a background check before receiving the weapon." Wouldn't want any nuts getting their hands on it.

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