Memo From President Trump

Subject: Key Issues for My 2024 Campaign

by

To: Sidney Powell, Stephen Miller, V. Putin

Date: July 4, 2023

Confidential

I’m sure these are the issues that Americans will care about in 2024:

  1. Jailing Brian Kemp and that other guy from Georgia, Ratsburger or whatever it is. Lock ’em up!
  2. Keep going back to the Supreme Court to overturn Pennsylvania. I won by a landslide! And we’ve only been up there—what is it? 18 times? 19 times? Alito was nodding yes (or maybe just nodding) the last time we were up there.
  3. Hillary and the Russia fraud! Lock her up! And what’s this story about that pizza place?
  4. Extradite Hugo Chavez and bring him back here to expose the truth about 2020.
  5. All great American cities once had a lot of soot. Can we get more soot?
  6. We brought back executions; how about executing those Central Park Five thugs? So they were “exonerated” by the “prosecutors” and the “courts” and the lamestream media? So what?
  7. And on executions, we brought back gas and the chair, right? How about stoning? What’s wrong with stoning?
  8. Why isn’t Hunter Biden in jail?
  9. And we’ve got to get Don Jr. out of Attica! Are the Proud Boys up to it?

I’m writing to you today with a sense of urgency that I haven’t felt since I began my journalism career. As executive editor of The American Prospect, I’ve witnessed firsthand how independent journalism serves as a crucial bulwark against the erosion of our democratic institutions. Today, that role is more vital than ever. Can you step up today and show your support?

The winds of authoritarianism are blowing stronger. We’re seeing alarming signs of a coordinated effort to silence critical voices and undermine the very foundations that support progressive causes. As Bob Kuttner presciently wrote in our August 2024 issue, a weaponized IRS could attack the very foundations of the progressive movement. We need readers to step up and help us dig in for the long haul.

We’re falling behind in our spring fundraising campaign, and with so much at stake we can’t afford to come up short. If you value fearless, independent journalism that holds the powerful accountable and defends democracy, now is the time to step up. The American Prospect depends on reader support to stay in the fight. Pitch in today and help us close the gap. Please consider making a donation today.

–David Dayen, Executive Editor